Language and why it is important | Birthkeeper Doula
This is a blog post by AJ Silver, one of the Kent Doula Collective. You can find them here https://birthkeeperdoula.co.uk/
Birth-workers all over the world, by which I include: Doulas, Midwifes, Consultants, Health Visitors etc, all recognise how important language is.
As I am often mainly, speaking with Midwifes, I was really pleased to hear the roll out of recommendations to stop using the terminology focused around the “Delivery” of babies. A student midwife attending a birth in East London recently told me they use “catching” now.
So the discussion of language is always rolling around in birthing world. We also talk about language in hypnobirthing, surges in lieu of contractions, power in place of pain and very commonly in the wider world partner rather than husband or wife.
When it comes to the language of pregnancy and birth in the LGBT* world its often dismissed or minimised.
Why is language important.
For the same reasons its important that midwifes or doctors don’t “deliver” a parents baby not all who birth are mothers, or women.
We know that Trans and non binary people have often developed a distrust in health care professionals due to Transphobia, source: NHS PHE Screening booklet 2018. This booklet states that “trans people may be at higher risk of cancer due to risk factors, such as higher rates of smoking and alcohol consumption” and that “many healthcare professionals report they lack the knowledge required to meet the needs of these patients”
Unfortunately we lack the studies and the understanding of Non Binary people and Trans Men surrounding birth. We know that almost half, 48%, of trans people have attempted suicide at least once, and 84% have thought about it. (source: Stonewall, www.stonewall.org.uk/sites/default/files/trans_states.pdf)
We absolutely must make change to ensure the inclusion, visibility and well being of trans and non binary people in the world, especially as all birth workers accept that the most vulnerable time during a birthing persons life, is their pregnancy, birth and postnatal period.
So what can we do? As parents, as birth workers, as members of society?
Smallest acts can effect huge change, so if you offer a product or service is it inclusive? Not just “queer friendly” but competent.
In the same way we need to invest in cultural competency and cultural safety (for more see here www.abueladoula.co.uk) we need to invest in our knowledge to help the vulnerable people in our world.
Passing laws to ensure that same sex couples can marry and adopt doesn’t take anything away from heteronormatily our society places on marriage and parenting.
Language is a free, easy and visible first step.
Language isn’t the end, the final hurdle, to then sit back and declare ourselves woke, educated, fair, open, equal or any other lip servicing expression to tick a box on our CPD or to make ourselves look good and feel better.
Does your website, social media or business plan include language for your potential customers to identify with your products or services?
Are they able to recognise themselves within the sea of language?
Including LGBT* language doesn’t have to come at the exclusion of the huge majority. The mothers, the women, the hetero, the cis.
Just as race orbits whiteness as its epicentre, sexuality identity orbits Cis – Hetero-normality.
In the same way that ensuring our business or public premises is wheelchair accessible we take nothing away from the able bodied people visiting.
We understand that we are the minority, but the fulfilment of seeing yourself represented in the thoughts and goals of others can’t be underestimated.
Simple ideas as including a smattering of mothers and birthing parents, they and them as well as He or She, parents instead of Mother and Father, or even their names. Which reminds me of another request to use first names rather than “mum” or “dad” with midwifes, HV etc. as it could be dehumanising for new parents to loose their identity before or immediately after birth.
So can we afford the ink, time and space to ensure that as many people as possible are represented, visible and loved?
Its not fucking pie.
Author - AJ Silver